Ten Things Adoptive Parents Should Know -- Post # 9

The concept for week 9 is to Provide lots of structure and nurturing.  Define roles in parent responses.  For example – “My job as your mother is to……. and your job is to……..” Children from difficult places need calm, secure rules (both formal and informal), role definitions, their unacceptable behavior to be stopped, an invitation for your child to experience things he/she finds challenging. Nurturing will include lots of rocking, holding, snuggling, healthy touches, positive eye contact, perhaps co-sleeping with young children, and using an article of clothing as a transition object.  65% of all interaction is social/emotional!

If you have any questions about the concepts presented or would like to talk in more detail please contact cscheller@ftia.org.   As a reminder, we will be hosting a webinar on January 6^th, 2011 entitled Ten Things Adoptive Parents Need to Know.  Registration information to come.

1st Court Date and Tonight's Conference Call

Hello!

I am happy to share that all three families with recent court dates have now passed court.  Now they can relax knowing that they will soon be bringing their child home.

We'll have our conference call tonight at 7pm.  To join, you can call 800-944-8766 and enter the code 39085 when prompted.

Ethipia Update

Greetings,

I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving.  A few of you were busy preparing for your first trip and your court date.  I can confirm that one family has passed court and two more have court dates very soon.  We are hoping for the same good news for those families. 

Two families with referrals are anxiously awaiting their first updates and news of court hearing.  The first month or so after a referral can be very hard to bare because there is so little information.  Rest assured that the team in Ethiopia is diligently working to move your case forward, there simply isn't much to report in the beginning.

We'll have our conference call on Monday evening, December 6th at 7 pm.  To join, call 1-800-944-8766 and enter participant code 39085 when prompted.

Have a great weekend!

Salome LaMarche

Ten Things Adoptive Parents Need to Know Post #8

The concept for week #8 is the understanding that for children from difficult places, we need to see resistance, aggression, attention needing behaviors, and compulsive actions and attitudes as stress or fear states – NOT MISBEHAVIORS. The understanding is larger than the expectations.  Children need lots of empathy and compassion about fears.  We need to acknowledge and accept fears, don’t dismiss them.  Help your child take small steps at facing their fears over time.  Children from difficult places need parent acceptance of feelings in the face of what makes them fearful…often masked as hurt (withdrawal), anger (aggression) or anxiety (compulsive) behaviors.

If you have any questions about the concepts presented or would like to talk in more detail please contact cscheller@ftia.org.   As a reminder, we will be hosting a webinar entitled Ten Things Adoptive Parents Need to Know at the end of this series (January 2010).

10 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Kow - Post #7

I really like the concept for week 7.  Celebrate for who the child is and what he/she does. Try to create 20 celebrations for each criticism.  Celebrate the child for what he/she does right.  Some days that may mean you will need to really look for those things and even celebrate the small stuff.  The celebrations might include high fives, knuckle bumps, hugs, or affirming touches that matures affection, adult to child.  You may even make a celebration day that includes going to get ice cream because “You are such an amazing kid.”

If you have any questions about the concepts presented or would like to talk in more detail please contact cscheller@ftia.org.   As a reminder, we will be hosting a webinar entitled Ten Things Adoptive Parents Need to Know at the end of this series (January 2010).

Delivering Hope

Hi again,

Please take a moment to check out Delivering Hope's blog.  You will find their logo, which is a link to their blog, on the right hand side of your screen.  Delivering Hope Inc. is a nonprofit organization started by 2 FTIA adoptive families, Jaime & Drew Willison-Glandon and William and Gretchen Almquist. 

We think you will be excited to see what they are doing and how you can help!
Salome

Ethiopia Update

Greetings FTIA Ethiopia Families,

First, I'd like to apologize for my lack of communication this week.  It has been a hectic week and it has been hard to find a spare moment. 

We continue to have 6 children in process with 5 families.  We have three families that will be appearing in court in Addis Abbaba in the next few weeks.  We are anxious to hear about their experiences.  For those of you who are planning a trip, I would like to have a travel conference call on Tuesday, November 23rd at 7 pm Central Time.  If you have already traveled to Ethiopia and would like to join the call, we would love to have you!

We also have our regularly scheduled conference call on Monday, Nov. 22nd at 7 pm Central Time.  You will use the following instructions for both calls.

Dial 1-800-944-8766 and, when prompted, enter code 39085.

If you have not joined the Monday call, we hope you will consider calling in this Monday.  It has been a great opportunity to ask questions and learn from the experiences of other adoptive families. 

FTIA's offices are closed Weds through Friday of next week so there will not likely be any blog or yahoo posts, unless there is something to report from on conference call on Monday evening.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Salome LaMarche