Hi!

I'm sorry I have not posted more frequently this week.  We had a great conference call on Monday night.  Although it may not seem crucial for you to participate, I encourage you to do so.  It seems that the call has been of comfort for those participating.  It is nice to hear the voice of other parents in your specific situation.  It is also a great time to to ask questions and learn from the questions asked by others. 

As we discussed last week we received two referrals at the beginning of last week, a boy and a girl.  We also have three families preparing for for their first trip in late November and early December.  For those families that just received referrals, we anticipate that their first tirp will be in January.  Normally, we might expect it to happen a bit quicker but since we are just coming out the the court holiday and going into Christmas, we exptect the process to move a little slower than usual.

For those of you preparing to take your children trick or treeting this weekent, we's like to share the following link to information regarding Holloween Safety Tips.

http://www.iyi.org/resources/doc/Peyton-Manning-Childrens-Hospital-Halloween-Safety-Tips.pdf

 

Have a great weekend!

 

Salome LaMarche

Director of Programs

Don't forget our bi-weely conference call on Monday!

On Monday at 7:00 pm central time, we will have our bi-weekly Ethiopia Conference Call (For FTIA Ethiopia Families Only).  If you have any specific topics you would like to discuss, please send me an email at slamarche@ftia.org. You can ask questions on the call but if you let me know in advance I can research the question, if necessary.

To join the call dial 800-944-8766 and, when prompted, enter the following:  39085.

Talk to you on Monday!

Salome LaMarche
Director of Programs
Families Thru International Adoption

Concept #2 Attunement

This week we introduce Concept #2 Attunement – Parents setting their feelings and reactions aside, to perceive the child’s behavior through the child’s eyes.  Parents should try to state the child’s needs to him/her without judgment, but with perspective.  A common example of this might be when your child wants your attention and may engage in behavior to get your attention, such as hitting, interrupting a conversation, or intentionally doing something that is not acceptable. In this case, an example of attunement may be to say to your child, “I think you need me to…..” rather than saying “You know you are not supposed to interrupt when I’m talking”.  We want to recognize and acknowledge the child’s needs, not focus on the behavior.  This can be especially challenging for parents.  Put this concept to work this week and see what type of response you get from your child!

 

Good News to Share!!

I am happy to share that two families were matched with children this week.  One boy and one girl!  We are so happy for them and will let them share the details personally.  We also received notice of another court date set for December.  So, we have three families with court dates towards the end of the year.  After the lull of the summer it is wonderful to see some positive movement!

For those of you anxiously waiting to be matched, be patient and stay positive.  It  will happen for you when the time is right.

For those of you that are home with your child, please send me a photo so that we can offer your child a special "Shout Out" on our blog (we can also post a shout out to a big or little brother or sister!  They deserve recognition as well.

Have a Great Day!

Salome LaMarche
FTIA Director of Programs

Ten Things Adoptive Parents Need to Know

Over the next ten weeks, we will be sharing the Ten Things Adoptive Parents Need to Know, which was developed by Richard Sudsberry, MA, LMFT, LMHC, who is a clinician specializing in attachment and children.  At the conclusion of these ten weeks, Rick will host a webinar for our families to answer questions and have more in-depth discussion about the ideas or concepts that we have shared.  All of these issues focus on intentional logics to reduce fear, regulate, distract, and mature children over time.  Love replaces fear, fear cannot reduce fear in a child’s mind, only love can!

This week we begin with Concept #1 – Spend time in your child’s world.  Your child wants and needs time with you each day, where you are “in their world’ by playing, sitting on the floor, and involving them in home based activities.  Minimally, we think parents should spend at least 30 minutes daily. Of course, more is better! If you have more than one child, this time, ideally, should be individual with each child. Some ideas of things you might do with your child are:

Puzzles/or books by having your child on your lap

Play on the floor with toys

Blow bubbles

Mimic facial expressions

Fix one another’s hair

For older children, you may want to simply sit and talk

Make a dessert or meal together

It would be good to have your child give you ideas about what he/she would like to do with their “mommy time” or “daddy time”.  You will be surprised how quickly ideas emerge and how excited your child will be!

Hello Again,

In our conference call on Monday evening, a few items came up that needed a little follow up.  I will update our literature to be sure this information is clearly stated but I have also provided the information for you below.

Regarding the process of receiving for a referral and waiting to travel:

Although I am aware that you are all anxious to know when the next referral may come I really cannot give you an estimate.  Some of you have asked how many referrals we receive per month.  I really can’t put a number to each month because there really is no “system” for assigning referrals.  The referral process begins when a child is relinquished and the paperwork finalized that matches the age/gender/health preference of a particular family. Some months we may receive several referrals and then we may have 2-3 months without any referrals.  I wish I could predict but it would merely be a guess and to guess would be a disservice to you.  I can tell you that the family that has waiting the longest for a boy submitted their dossier in early May of 2010 and the family that has been waiting the longest for a girl has been waiting since mid May of 2010.  I hope this is helpful.

In most cases, after being matched with a family and the family accepts the referral, the children are moved to the transition home in Addis Ababa.  Some orphanages move the children prior to the referral.  Shalom typically moves them after referral.

Updates on the children should be received monthly after the referral for children 0-2 years and every other month for older children.  Of course, things can happen to cause delays in getting the updates (holidays, vacations, etc).

Regarding Your First Trip to Ethiopia:

On this trip all that is needed from you is your presence.  The paperwork needed for the court process is already in Ethiopia.  All you need to do to prepare for this trip is pack and make your travel arrangements.  Right now the trip is planned for 3-4 days.  No tours or shopping trips are planned during your first trip.  The Team in Ethiopia is still scheduling those items on the 2^nd trip.  However, if you would like to plan some side trips while on your first trip, the Guest House staff can certainly help you arrange a trip.

While on your first trip, you will be able to see the child once a day for about 1 ½ hours.  This time will be in the morning or afternoon but you will not likely know which until you arrive.  It will depend on the schedule of the orphanage and the staff working that particular day.

Thanks so much for sharing your specific questions with me.  It is helpful for me to know exactly what your questions are so I can incorporate the answers into our literature.

Our next conference call is planned for Monday, October 25, 2010 at 7 pm central time.  Everyone can call in at 7 pm.  We will not be scheduling specific times for specific stages of the process.   The call seemed to flow better with families in all stages of the process on the call at the same time.  This call is open to FTIA Adoptive Families only.  A few days before the call, I will send you an email reminder that will include the phone number and conference code. 

As you prepare to bring a child into your home, we would like to share with you a resource that we think will be helpful.  

Dr. Dana Johnson is presenting a webinar,

Food For Thought: The impact of poor nutrition in early development.
Tips and insights for adoptive parents to help children catch up and thrive.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010;
7:00 - 8:00 PM Central Time

Optional Q&A with Dr. Johnson
8:00 - 8:30 PM Central Time

Fee: $15.00

To Register:  http://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/nutrition_webinar.cfm

Thanks and have a great day!

Salome LaMarche
Director of Programs
Families Thru International Adoption
slamarche@ftia.org